Neko Case Wins 2009 Star Wars!!!!!!

It's ova. Neko Case has won the Star Wars 2009 Tournament! They beat the stuffing out of She & Him in a game that wasn't really all that close. Tony Signore is the winning coach and Mark Ewing must buy him the album of his choice from Neko Case.

Signore was ecstatic as he pulled up to the podium in a motorized bar stool. "methinks this bar stool just rocks, guys", clucked a jubilant Signore. "I'd like to thank Neko Case for, Wait, is there a reverse? I'd like to, hey, something is wrong with the differential on this thing...ok, I'd like to thank Neko Case for a game well played..." Tony Signore pulled a semi-shocker, by naming Zooey Dechanel as the MVP, even though she was held to 14 points and 2 rebounds. Zooey was last seen, running up the bleachers in a vain attempt to remove herself from Signore, still in his motorized bar stool...and he was drinking heavily..."

"This is not good for anybody", said an un-named Star Wars Official.

Signore did present all winning member of Neko Case with some beautiful Batman necklaces. "You see? You see? This is an appropriate venue to wear the Batman Necklaces, so put them on everyone, put them on..."said Signore.

01- Neko Case Vs 02- She & Him in Finals!!

02- She & Him upsets 01- Leonard Cohen

01-Neko Case puts away 03-Dandy Warhols

Tony Signore clinches 2009 Star Wars by getting 2 groups in Finals for Showdown on Monday.

Leonard Cohen reflects on loss: "Oh the hell with yuz. Tony Signore was right. I was the Old Man...I kept dragging the fish, and the sharks kept a ripping. I am just a really tired old (expletive). ....I don't even know what I'm doing in the Star Wars. Harold called me out too, I do only have one good album, I've been mailing it in for years....I don't even know how to play the guitar. I really liked playing against Zooey, I couldn't even run, there was so much junk going on in my pants. One time our lips were so close. I fouled her a few times just so I could feel that body....but anyway, I pounded Johnny Cash. Then I pounded the (expletive) Vampire Weekend. I took out Dire Straits. I took out the Beau Brummels. I was (expletive) good. But I'm done here. Screw Star Wars, I'm not coming back you bastards....."

Signore the Wizard speaks....

how is every one? i am fine....here are my picks ...this weekend will prove to be very big for female players and very, very bad for old men and dandy fellows....1st game...cohen vs she and himcoach ewing will not be able to concentrate on his game strategy....he will constantly call timeouts and.... incredibly he will bring zooey small cups of water to drink....asking her if she is 'okay' and 'is there anything i can do for you?' it will be very pathetic to watch...i suggest you tivo this game and watch the highlights only....zooey will crush old man cohen like the sharks ripped into the flesh of the big marlin that the old man tried to drag back to the docks in "the old man and the sea" ...picture cohen as spencer tracy and zooey as the sharks...OVA! if the old man tries the same zone defense the the black keys tried...zooey will use the high post to set up her back door game....easy here mark...get your mind out of the gutter...i can explain 'back door' the next time you drag me to some god-forsaken bar where a crazy guy in an orange cap is the most exciting person in the joint...the old man may give she and him a game...but in the end...she and him will advance...she 85 cohen 782nd game...dandy worhols vs neko casein the words of neko...Oh my sparrow it's too lateYour body limp beneath my feetYour dusty eyes cold as clayYou didn't hear my warningnot sure what that mumbo jumbo means but really... nobody understands anything she ever says...but really doesnt matter...neko too powerful and the dandies are just happy to be as far away from new jersey as possible...everyone knows the dandies are playing above themselves and it will finally catch up with them....this game will be a laffer from the start....like the late...great frank sinatra once said.."I'll take two broads!" you got it blue eyes...take both broads and buy sammy davis jr a drink after the whole affair is done.... neko 85 dandies 56ok..thats all i got...i'm saying this with peace and love..peace and love...stop sending me stuff to sign..i WILL NOT sign any letters....OR objects...NOTHING...the wizard

Frank Lalonde: "This is MY Town!!"

Yeah, got nothing else, I just wanted to see the headline.

Built Like a 16-Year Old is on the air

Transcripts from Tony Signore's weekly radio program on WFRT:

ok...here we go....the black keys...after dismantling the hubbard....poor hubbard....the keys seemed poised for greatness...but not fast my friends...

She & Him are scrappy...and they are gaining support from unlikely sources..."yeah...i like this team....i can't stop watching them....almost an obsession...i wouldn't mind if they met up with cohen in the finals and take the old man out...." m. ewing

she and him 76 bk 74 - last second shot by zooey wins it...
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rilo kiley is a very strong team...fast athletic....all the tools....but they can not do the smurf....so neko case will put an end to their run....strong rebounding and unstoppable at the low post...(editors note - coach m. ewing was a little confused on exactly what...or where the low post is....no wonder his teams look confused on the court...l. cohen was heard to remark after his last game .... "yeah..he told me to post up and then drew out a play with me on the elbow...what the hell?")

neko 82 kiley 73i feel pretty good......pretty pretty good about these picks....now i am going to watch 'elf'..and 'the happening' back to back...again good luck to my teams....

Final Four To Be Determined Today!

01-Leonard Cohen beats 03-The Beau Brummels

03-Dandy Warhols upsets 01-Ween!!

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Today: 01- Black Keys Vs 02-She & Him (Go Zooey!)

01-Neko Case Vs 02- Rilo Kiley

Commissioner Mark Ewing predicts: Neko Case over Rilo Kiley and, in an upset, ok, I was wrong on all my other upset picks, but (holding french frys) She & Him are gonna beat the Black Keys...just sit back and watch it!

Star Wars Coach Marred in Sex Scandal?

The above photo is Zooey Dechanel. Tony Signore has picked her in TWO separate groups in Star Wars. If Tony Signore is looking at it right now, he probably is having trouble breathing properly. It has come to Star Wars Officials that Coach Tony Signore has been linked to several appalling incidents over this past Star Wars season. Mark Ewing has confirmed that Tony Signore has muttered many sexual comments about Zooey Dechanel, who plays for both She & Him AND Rilo Kiley- 2 groups that Signore managed to get extremely high rankings in a very short period of time. "If something smells like fish, then you know it is probably some kind of fish", said a Star Wars official who would like to remain anonymous. Other reports, as of now-unconfirmed, state that Signore constantly hounds Dechanel for private, practice sessions. "I think he texted her 38 times last Friday night," said the official. "I have even heard he showed up at her dorm room, in his underwear, and a 6-pack of Moosehead beer, in bottles. I think she made him leave almost immediately, despite his pleas to 'forget about the damn lamp'".
Star Wars Commissioner Mark Ewing was none to happy. "We had tried to quiet down the fact that Tony was buying Red-Headed Sluts for Christine McVie last week, and now this. I will talk to him, see if I can get him into counseling or something". Phone calls to the Signore residence were not returned. Jenny Lewis, who also claims to have 'problems' with Signore in the past, stated that Signore was seen at a Grand Rapids pizza parlor arguing with a young man about how many items to get on a pizza, and in what situations one would wear a Batman necklace.
Stay tuned for more Star Wars stuff. Usually we like to report just on the games, but sometimes when lunatics get involved, we have to get out the truth.

To the right...are some videos of She & Him, the first video was obviously directed by Signore, who has Dechanel jumping up and down constantly, laying down on the floor, with her buttocks up in the air, wearing little mini-skirts, etc, etc....I have watched it three times now and I am just appalled.