The above photo is Zooey Dechanel. Tony Signore has picked her in TWO separate groups in Star Wars. If Tony Signore is looking at it right now, he probably is having trouble breathing properly. It has come to Star Wars Officials that Coach Tony Signore has been linked to several appalling incidents over this past Star Wars season. Mark Ewing has confirmed that Tony Signore has muttered many sexual comments about Zooey Dechanel, who plays for both She & Him AND Rilo Kiley- 2 groups that Signore managed to get extremely high rankings in a very short period of time. "If something smells like fish, then you know it is probably some kind of fish", said a Star Wars official who would like to remain anonymous. Other reports, as of now-unconfirmed, state that Signore constantly hounds Dechanel for private, practice sessions. "I think he texted her 38 times last Friday night," said the official. "I have even heard he showed up at her dorm room, in his underwear, and a 6-pack of Moosehead beer, in bottles. I think she made him leave almost immediately, despite his pleas to 'forget about the damn lamp'".Star Wars Commissioner Mark Ewing was none to happy. "We had tried to quiet down the fact that Tony was buying Red-Headed Sluts for Christine McVie last week, and now this. I will talk to him, see if I can get him into counseling or something". Phone calls to the Signore residence were not returned. Jenny Lewis, who also claims to have 'problems' with Signore in the past, stated that Signore was seen at a Grand Rapids pizza parlor arguing with a young man about how many items to get on a pizza, and in what situations one would wear a Batman necklace.
Stay tuned for more Star Wars stuff. Usually we like to report just on the games, but sometimes when lunatics get involved, we have to get out the truth.
To the right...are some videos of She & Him, the first video was obviously directed by Signore, who has Dechanel jumping up and down constantly, laying down on the floor, with her buttocks up in the air, wearing little mini-skirts, etc, etc....I have watched it three times now and I am just appalled.
