Ewing Toasts Win, Signore Wins Toast

As the final seconds of the game between The Dandy Warhols and The Rodriquez ticked down, Commissioner-Coach Mark Ewing started raising his glass to toast the Warhols, as well as giving kudos to The Rodriguez for at least showing up, and for rotating his tires as previously requested.

"Let me tell ya," Ewing told a capacity crowd "this year we're going to the f**kin' Super Bowl!" Upon being reminded that this was a basketball tournament, Ewing recanted, and requested that his statement be stricken from the record. "Objection!" cried Ewing. "Overruled." stated Dick Enberg. "Exception." Ewing said modestly. "Noted." added Enberg.

Meanwhile, Coach Tony Signore, who had been watching the game alone in his office, the "fortress of alone-i-tude" as he affectionately refers to it, started praising both teams. "I've gotta hand it to Ewing," Signore told the Death Star janitorial staff, "he knows how to pick winners. BUT...too bad he picks the wrong teams!"

On being questioned whether he was through eating a corned-beef with cabbage sandwich, Signore exploded. "Does it LOOK like I'm through? Huh? Does it...punk! Let me tell ya, it ain't over until that extremely large opera singer is finished with the aria! Oh, sure, Ewing can claim that his dominance of The Naboo is of his own doing. But I still say, if it wasn't for that damned assistant of his, Jar-Jar, Jub-Jub, Jib-Jab or whatever; Ewing wouldn't have an arm to stand on. 'cause, when the going gets tough...the tough, well, start to move along like normal. Dammit, where's my CARROTS!"

As a cleaning lady emptied Signore's waste-basket, she was heard to mutter to the janitors "he's been under a little stress lately, what with the bomb and all. You know...the bomb...the Hydrogen bomb." Dick Enberg, who'd been looking for the restroom and accidentally entered Signore's office promptly asked the cleaning lady if she's be willing to do an interview, since Signore couldn't be found as he'd departed to the local Quik-E-Mart to buy some grape kool-ade.